You may have heard the term Restorative Justice, especially now, as it gains popularity in schools (including Flynn). The main goal of schools that use Restorative Justice is to address interpersonal and behavioral problems in a way that actually solves the issue, by encouraging all sides to share their perspectives, and be open to others’ perspective. They aim to replace the current approach of matching a “consequence” to an “offender”, and instead identify the causes and effects of a conflict on all who are involved, and come up with an appropriate solution.
This is an involved process. It may seem strange, but it seems that getting in touch with one’s feeling, taking responsibility , and committing to change, is HARD. Even putting a finger on how we feel, alone, can be very hard. The good news is that, like knitting and skateboarding, empathy and honest expression are skills that can be learned and improved. One way to work on these skills is to participate in Restorative Justice Circles.
So far, at Mariposa, most of the circles we’ve held had a simple goal: To build trust and respect between members of the community. We play games, and share stories, mostly just to get comfortable, but also because these stories reveal to each one of us how similar many of our experiences really are. It is easier to address conflict and challenge ourselves, when we feel an actual connection to each other.
For example, in our circle with Mariposa’s girls, we explored the shared experience of being a girl. That ended up being a comfortable forum for some girls to express what they felt about sometimes being seen as inferior to boys. Later, other girls requested a circle when one was not scheduled, in order to discuss an ongoing problem in their friendship.
In the coming weeks, we hope to push our circles to the next level, deepen our discussions, and explore ways to genuinely address our conflicts as they arise.
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